(1.5 Out of 5)

To quote Chris Berman, “Marshall, Marshall, Marshall!”  Seriously Em, what in the bluest of hells were you thinking?  When the best track on the first half of the CD is the Paul Skit, things are in trouble.

Look, I’m an Eminem fan.  I really am.  Spring Break of 1999 I showed up at my family’s villa in Florida with the full on Eminem bleach job and I might have scarred my then 8 year old cousin Tayler for life.  I know every line of the “Real Slim Shady.”  I buy every CD.  I was awaiting Relapse almost as much as the new Blink 182 disc.

That was a mistake.

Oddly, I think it’s time for Em to grow up.  I’m sick of his mommy issues, I’m sick of his pill issues.  The pity poor Eminem act is tired.  The damndest thing is he says all this on the CD.  It’s like he knows what all his die hard fans are going to say terrible things about the CD, but he’s powerless to stop it.

Em did take some chances, like his ode to incestuous gay stepdaddy sex in “Insane,” and a creative but mind numbing bagpipe attempt in “Bagpipes from Baghdad.”  They were both awful, though.  The only time Eminem seemed to be having any fun at all was when Dre was involved.  To make things worse, it sounds like he’s rapping with this weird cockney English accent. 

I’m glad Marshall’s back.  He’s right, things aren’t the same without him around.  But like Paul said in the skit on Track 11, I just listened to the entire album and I don’t have Eminem’s back on this one, and like the other Paul I might be f*&^ing done.

By: Pauly Hammond - Contributing Writer